My eyes are blurry, and my head is starting to sicken. I keep kicking my legs around hoping to relax. My mind is sometimes blank but mostly my thoughts won’t quiet down. They’re so loud. And so unproductive. A lot of ‘what ifs’ rolling around up there. Now I’m too hot. I need to kick the blankets off. Maybe if I get up and do something I’ll get tired. Nope. I can’t sleep but I’m too brain-dead to work on something. I just want to sleep, I’m so tired. How am I not asleep? How can I be this tired and unable to lose consciousness? Oh no. I can hear the birds starting to sing. We’re approaching the point of no return. Either this will be an all-nighter or I’m going to end up with a restless two hours before my alarm goes off. Why are those birds so loud? This is the worst part. I’m watching my alarm clock countdown until it goes off. I turn it off. I hate that sound. Just a few more minutes until I have to get up. My stomach is churning. I’ll just close my eyes until it’s time. I open my eyes. Oops, I finally fell asleep for twenty minutes. Now I’m running late and feel worse than if I’d stayed awake.
People who get enough sleep don’t understand people who don’t. Something becomes terribly wrong when you move beyond a few nights’ lost sleep into weeks and months. It does things to you. If you’re not sleeping, you’re not regenerating If you’re not sleeping, you’re not healing. If you’re not sleeping, you’re not ok.