The depression checklist of self-care and medication becomes the to-do list from hell when added to a regular day’s workload. Fortunately, I was given some great advice once; “Anything worth doing, is worth doing half-way.” Sometimes when I’m too depressed to do anything, anything I do feels like an accomplishment.
Except for most of the time when it doesn’t. Even when it takes everything I have, doing things half-way makes me feel terrible. Even when self-care becomes an accomplishment with benefits, I just feel worn out anyway. In a way, I prefer nothing gets done so I don’t feel the pain of falling short.
I have a belief in my heart though. I believe it’s more than ok to give myself full credit for imperfect work. Caring about my health should include caring about how much self-compassion I feel.
Recently I made some major hygiene goals with my therapist to address so many things I’m terrible at. The other night it was time for my daily face wash, but I was lying in bed feeling overwhelmed, unsure if I could get up. Suddenly I realized that I could just dab my face with a wet towel and call it good, as it was something “worth doing halfway”. I was so proud of my work-around and gave myself full credit for imperfect work. It was a small high, but it was mine to enjoy for the rest of the night.